Tuesday, August 29, 2006

global warming - a cure for gore?

Once upon a time, there was a man who was Vice President of the USA. Being vice president meant that he was, literally, one breath away from being the real thing. If Clinton stopped breathing, he was IT!

So, I think he should promote this solution. All mammals breath in pure, clean, cool air, and breath out hot, fetid, saturated mist. This obviously contributes to global warming. And which mammals contribute most - humans of course. Do the arithmetic - 6.5 billion people, average mass 50Kg = 325 MEGATONS (nice word that, it will get the attention of environmentalists and peaceniks alike) of air-polluting flesh. By contrast, there isn't even one megaton of elephant around.

Now, the proposal is for all humans to stop breathing. Stop spoiling the atmosphere with your unwanted heat. Leave the Earth the way you found it - pure and clean. I'm sure Gore of all people can see the merits of this argument - it has a much stronger scientific basis than all his other stuff, and it's at least as doable as his other suggestions!