Pay per view?

You now have to pay to read the spectator online - it's a crime! Unfortunately I was trying to copy something from the February 12 edition into my blog, and I am unable to because you now have to pay to read the Spectator online. We subscribe to the print edition - surely that should give us the "right" to read it online without paying - what is this world coming to?

Anyway I will have to type the piece I wanted to blog - it is not very long.

In the Spectator's Notes section - by Charles Moore

In Paris this week I entered into a conversation about French anti-Semitism. This fuss about Holocaust Day, said the woman next to me, it is ridiculous: 'They keep saying we are so anti-Semitic, but it is not true. It is just that the Jews control the papers, and they are very clever and put anti-Semitism on the front page.' I felt she had told me more than she intended about French attitudes on the subject.

end quote - nuff said!

Up or Down!

What is it with women and toilet seats in this country? As a woman, when I use the toilet I SIT DOWN! But 9 times out of 10 when I go to the "female" toilets here in Israel the toilet seat is UP????

Either there is an unspoken number of sex change transvestites in Israel or Israeli woman have mastered the art of peeing standing up - whatever the reason, I just wish they would put the bloody seat down when they finish.

:)

Who needs a referendum

Last night as I was about to turn on to the Ayalon Freeway another car pulled up beside me and beeped, an Israeli signal that they want to ask you something, generally directions.

A guy sticks his head out and says - just want to ask you something, are you for the disengagement plan or against it? When I replied "for" he proceeded to argue with me.

Have Israelis decided to run their own referendum and I wasn't told about it. Anyway, what if this guy decided to ask 100 random people if they were "for" or "against", and if enough people answered "for" they would call it quits on arguing and start supporting the decision to pull out. aaaahhhh

Did I mention I saw a flying pig on the way home too...

He's back

The fake Policeman that is...

When will Israel ever learn?

Ha ha ha ha h........ 

testing 1 2 3

This is Ush - want to see if I can now guest blog for myself?

Single-Issue-Fanatics

The Israeli Cabinet delivered a historic decision today. For the first time ever, an Israeli Government has voted to dismantle settlements in the disputed territories of the Gaza Strip and the West Bank. Better late than never, I suppose. This is a move that may well have been carried out by Yitzhak Rabin if he hadn't been gunned down by a fanatical Jew who was hell-bent on preventing concessions to the Palestinians. Well I hope you're happy now, Yigal Amir!

The late lamented Bernard Levin, a witty trenchant writer coined the term "Single-Issue-Fanatics". This term applies perfectly to the hard core West Bank and Gaza settlers and their supporters. Settling every inch of the Land of their Israel is their raison d'etre, and woe betide anyone who stands in their way. See Rabbi Pini Dunner's excellent article in the Jerusalem Post, on this issue.

Although one can certainly feel sympathy for families who have to leave their homes, they will receive massive financial compensation, enabling them to resettle elsewhere. People are thrown out of their homes every day, because they are unable to pay their mortgages. Do they get financial reimbursement, or new houses? I imagine that most of the Gaza settlers are reasonable people who will accept the Government decree. It is the Single-Issue-Fanatics (we shall call them SIFs!) that we must be wary of - the hard core who are prepared to inflict misery on the entire nation, just so they can live out their messianic bloodthirsty visions. No doubt, they will go on screaming "referendum, referendum!" This is clearly a ruse to prevent the Disengagement Plan, and they know it.

The extreme right-wing who accuse Ariel Sharon of rejecting democracy are appalling hypocrites. The whole settlement enterprise was undemocratic from start to finish. For years, Zeev Hever, a veteran settlement leader and his acolytes have been establishing settlement outposts on the sly, away from the public eye. The whole settlement building process has always been a case of "quietly does it". Is that transparent? Is that democratic? Of course not! The settler leaders need to understand that democracy works both ways.

The vast majority of the Israeli population care little about the settlements. Most Israelis will shed few tears if most of the settlements are removed. I suspect that the SIFs are aware of this fact, and they will do their utmost to force their extreme ideologies down our throats, as the Disengagement Plan looms. The SIFs had their way in 1995, after Israel's Prime Minister was gunned down in cold blood. This time around, they shall not pass!

Ush

a bit under the weather

Last Shabbat we had both heaters on, it was zero degrees celcius, and they were promising snow. This shabbat it was 24 degrees and hot. So it is no wonder that I have strep throat!

Sorry about the lack of updates - my husband is still promising one day to write on here - I am not holding my breath, although I probably should given that status of my throat ;)

I actually had an interesting revelation over Shabbat. The buzz phrase of the last 10 years has been "global warming". Everything from melting polar ice caps, to the recent tsunami is blamed by the scientists on "global warming". Well here is my revelation. These scientists have probably only had the means/want to watch the changing weather conditions for the last say 200 years or so. Who says there is a "global warming problem". What if the "warming" we are seeing has always been there - but now that scientists monitor the weather and the earth's status they are only now noticing this phenomenon. I mean think about it! According to these very same scientists the world was once covered in ice. Which means that global warming is a process that may have started with the end of the ice age and this small pip that we are seeing now in 2000-2001 is just part of that big process. Then again there is probably a reason why I am a graphic designer and not a scientist.

la la la.... back to bed

Shavuah Tov.

Nush

Creating a precedent

Israel is famous for its bad English translations. I will never forget the time my dad called me up from a fish restaurant. Between his own fits of laughter he managed to splutter out that the menu contained "Gefilte Fish made from Crap"! I think they meant Carp. Or the time I once went to a small coffee shop near Bet Shemesh, with a friend. This place had a whole menu full of English spelling errors. I still wonder how the Tie Hoodles (Thai Noodles) would have tasted :)

This site has a funny story about the controversy surrounding the signs to "LaGuardia" exit off the Ayalon Highway.

Hat tip to DZH

and the beat goes on...

One of my good friends once said that with all the shenanigans at the Jerusalem Post, it is like a soap opera - he said it should be called "The bold and the Italics" :-)

One of the ways Azur was hoping to make a fast buck out of the JP purchase, was to sell the building, land and presses that currently house the nearly historical Jerusalem Post, currently valued at over $7,000,000.

rumor has it though, that he is finding the sale of the land quite impossible. Apparently the area is zoned for only a 4-5 story building and no one wants to buy it! There is also a local war going on over a proposed gas station in the area!

So much for the big white horse with prince charming coming in the form of CanWest to save the JP from the evil clutches of Hollinger. The ole days don't look so bad anymore!

Nushworld - More Scoops than the Jerusalem Post

Paul of Bloghd fame, is confused about the rumour that the JP International edition will not be sold in the US and Canada for the next several weeks. Here's why!

Azur planning to sue CanWest for slander Eli Azur is petitioning the Jerusalem District Court to declare him the owner of “The Jerusalem Post”.
Shmuel Dekalo
Businessman Eli Azur last week petitioned the Jerusalem District Court to declare him the owner of “The Jerusalem Post”. Azur's claim states that he plans to sue CanWest Global Communications (NYSE: CWG; TSX: CGS) for damages, and that CanWest has slandered him, and damaged his business, property, and reputation.
Azur asserts that CanWest’s media campaign against Mirkaei Tikshoret Ltd., controlled by Azur, when “The Jerusalem Post” was acquired, and CanWest’s petition for arbitration and a temporary restraining order, have caused him a great deal of public damage. He alleges that his reputation has been tarnished, and doubt cast on his rights as a shareholder in “The Jerusalem Post”.

Read the full story here...

and my previous post about this here...

And I thought this only happened in Israel...

When IKEA opened in Israel they had to advertise on the radio asking people not to come anymore because they couldn't cope with the volume of people.

Ikea store shut after bargain-hunters cause chaos
By Jenny Booth, Times Online
At least 22 would-be bargain-hunters suffered crush injuries and heat exhaustion as a 6,000-strong crowd forced a new Ikea superstore to close on its opening night. Cars were abandoned on London's busy North Circular road and customers were crushed in the chaos which ensued after the furniture store opened its doors at midnight.
The new outlet in Edmonton, the biggest Ikea in England, was due to trade for a full 24 hours, with a programme of special offers and entertainment. But the store was forced to shut up shop within 45 minutes due to an "unforeseen volume of customers".
Emergency services were called and six people were taken to hospital, including in the vicinity of the store and a man suffering chest pains. An Ikea spokeswoman said that it was decided to close for the safety of customers and staff, and the store would remain shut until further notice.
She denied that the stabbing victim had been injured in the store, and said it was a separate incident.She added: "Ikea are deeply shocked, upset and concerned at what occurred. Ikea take the safety and security of its customers and employees very seriously at all times."
Assistant Divisional Officer William Bird of the London Fire Brigade, who was called to the scene, said that he had never seen anything like the chaos. "It was extraordinary and to an extent unexpected, I have never attended anything like that before," he said.
"Fire crews arrived at the Ikea store in Meridien Way to find severe traffic congestion and many thousands of people trying to get in to the new store."
Cars had been abandoned on the North Circular road, as people rushed to the shop on foot in order to arrive in time to snap up the bargains - such as a leather sofa for £45 - which had been advertised in strictly defined time slots.

He should be fired!

CNN reports about a professor who likened the victims of 9/11 to Nazis. What astounded me about this article is that he managed to find 1,000 supporters for his idea, or even worse, that there are people questioning whether or not he should be fired???

In an essay, Churchill wrote that workers in the World Trade Center were the equivalent of "little Eichmanns," a reference to Adolf Eichmann, who ensured the smooth running of the Nazi system. Churchill also spoke of the "gallant sacrifices" of the "combat teams" that struck America.

Freedom of Speech

Some people bemoan the lack of the written word, the fact that people don't write letters anymore, don't send thankyou or get well cards like in the good ol' days!

In fact for years things have continued to go downhill - have you noticed the amount of abbreviated words we have "created" in our everyday correspondence? Just a few months ago my not so tech-savvy husband asked me what : ) meant? I was astounded that he did not know or could not work it out. This morning my mother asked me if I knew what "MWA" meant, as if I hadn't already been using it for months. (it means kiss - as in the sound you make when you kiss someone)

Still there are some expressions people use that I have not been able to work out - like - WOMLN?

Anyway, I just felt I had to share this SMS I got from my aunty in South Africa.

"hi so nce 2 hr frm u. hp u nd yr hbnd r wel nd rst fmly. we al wel gran sme how new jb? mwa"

translated this means

"hi so nice to hear from you. Hope you and your husband are well and the rest of the family. We are all well, gran is the same. How is your new job? kiss"

Could you imagine if we did all correspondence the way the first one was written?

"dr sir, I wld lke to aply fr psitn u plcd in th nwsppr ths wknd. pls cept my cv fr yr cnsdrtn. I hv xtnsv xprnce in mktng nd cmunictn. prticly n dealng wth ppl. I lk fwd to yr fvrble cnsidrtn. sncrly xxx"

nf sd (nuff said)

ooh baby baby it's a spam world

I get it, you get it, we all get it, and supposedly we all delete it!

Now there is proof that it costs billions to fix - but how come there are no studies about how much money is made annually through spam emails. If everyone is deleting them, then how come they keep coming?

Would the STUPID people out there STOP reading, clicking through and buying things through spam mail!

nuff said!

Is this the sort of Hasbara we need?

This website is offering T-shirts and mugs with this sort of rubbish on them! Is this what Israel needs?


Oh Puhleese!

My life is like a washing machine

I put two socks in and only 1 ever comes out! I am forever misplacing things. It does not matter how much I try and "organise" I still never get to the point where I know where everything is at a given point.

LG from 32 and thensome talks about how she always misplaces her bills just as she is about to pay them. I am frantically searching for a small folder that has all my freelance books and payments for the first 4 months of 2004. If I don't find it what will I tell the tax office? How come the tax office never loses my papers? Oh well back to my search!

A reading MUST!

About 6 months ago we decided to subscribe to the English magazine The Spectator. Unfortunately with winter days being so short I find that I don't have as much time to read on shabbat as I do in summer. As a result, I have just finished reading the January 8 edition of the magazine.

Each week the spectator asks someone famous to be their guest "blogger" for a section simply called "Diary". I very rarely read something that makes me laugh out loud, so I felt I had to share these two little gems.

The first is from the Jan 8 edition, the guest diarist was Jeremy Paxman (a TV presenter), he wrote:

On a programme I worked on several years ago, a catastrophe hit the town of Darwin, Australia. The lonely producer on holiday night duty telephoned the graphics department, requesting an illustration for the news bulletin. ‘I’d like a map of Australia, animated to show Darwin, please.’ As Moira Stuart reached the middle of the story, he watched in horror as a bearded face exploded from the heart of Australia.

The second is from the December 18 double issue. The guest diarist was the famous Australian Barry Humphries, better know as Dame Edna Everage.

If I had not been told by a medium at a spiritualist meeting in Melbourne in 1953 that I would be living in the United States, I would have never believed it. Australians have always had ambivalent feelings towards the Seppos (septic tanks: Yanks) since we had so many rich and randy Americans in our midst during the second world war and Vietnam. Secretly, however, we rather touchingly want to be like Americans. There’s always a bit of excitement, especially in Adelaide, when they think they’ve found a serial killer, or a Serbian runs amok with a weapon in a supermarket. That feels sort of American, and when we gave up pounds and pennies for decimal currency we loved talking about ‘bucks’ and driving ‘Ks’ instead of miles. It made us feel we were in the movies, though more travelled Australians were dismayed to visit the United States and find they still measure distances in antiquated miles. We now call men, even women and children ‘guys’, but then so do the Poms these days, and railway stations in Australia are now annoyingly called ‘train stations’, if you will. Fortunately two weeks in Australia is still a fortnight, but Americans don’t understand the word, and though actors like me do shows twice on Saturdays, the word ‘twice’ is absolutely unknown in the United States and if recognised at all is thought of as a puzzling archaism. It’s ‘two times’ over here, and I don’t get off the train at the train station in America either - I get ‘off of the train’, a silly and inexplicable usage.

I haven’t been to the new Moma yet. I hope it’s possible to dodge the restaurants and boutiques and get to the pictures. That would also mean dodging the very large spaces devoted to ‘contemporary art’. On museum binges in the States I have seen enough neon tubes at 45-degree angles, piles of rocks and minimalist installations significantly called ‘untitled’ (meaning without ideas) to last a lifetime. There’s a thing that crops up all the time in the ‘contemporary’ wasteland of these museums which is a blob of white Styrofoam on a tripod on to which a little projector beams the flickering face of the lezzo or pooftah who created it. Unfortunately the film is not silent, for this installation usually screams things like, ‘Don’t, don’t, don’t, you’re hurting!’ or ‘Harder harder’ or some other equivocal injunction to his or her tormentor.

Read the spectator, it's worth it!

No pressure!

In today's JP there is an announcement that 38 families have voluntarily agreed to be relocated out of the Gaza strip. First of all I would like to say KOL HAKAVOD for volunteering.

In the same article the spokesperson for Elei Sinai, the settlement where these volunteer evacuees live, is quoted as saying;

Like the 130,000 anti-disengagement protesters who attended the Jerusalem rally on Sunday, he wants the government to hold a national referendum on the issue.
If a referendum were held, he would abide by it. "If it says that Avi Farhan has to leave, I will pack my things in great pain and go." Otherwise, said Farhan, he plans to remain. This is his second experience with evacuation. In 1982, he was forcibly evacuated from Yamit in Sinai. At the end of that year, he and a number of other families from Yamit founded Elei Sinai.

WELL! Avi Farhan, I am one citizen, who without hesitation when filling out my referendum form, would tell you to GET OUT!

I say - let's have the referendum, I say - where are the other 130,000+ people who feel that the disengagement plan ain't so bad? It's time we all started to speak up!